next time leave the drummer at home

 

something i wrote one night at the loft during an event

nothing breaks your heart

everyone is better
at being cool
better than i am
at being so cool
like you are
with never letting
nothing at all
ever get a hold of you
like the way i do
i wish i knew
how to be
someone other than me
this city will rot
from how we ignore
this city rots
my insides more and more
pour out all over the floor
the older i get
the less i can pretend
the older i get
the more 
i want it to end
the closer i feel
the further away
you and everyone else seem to be
i wish that was me
a million miles away
and
not to touch a god damn thing
so nothing ever gets to (touch) you
and nothing ever breaks your heart

never before have i felt the way i do right now

i'm sad
really sad
and i don't know how to get out of this
today i did yoga
and meditated
and went out
tried to put a smile on my face
tried to ignore
my heart
but my heart hurts
for a reason
and i don't know
how to make it stop
maybe time
but it's a lonely feeling
the loneliest feeling
i've ever felt
and i don't want anything
that will just make it worse

i feel like i have to leave this place
for awhile
cause nothing here
is working for me
and i'm not working with it
i'm just really
not sure
if this
is just how
it will be
forever